Self-portraits done to a different drug every day (45 Photos)
Posted by friedmanfamilytherapy in Uncategorized on March 25, 2014
Pretty cool guy made a self portrait of himself each representing himself on a particular drug
Artist Bryan Lewis Saunders conducted a bizarre experiment. For several weeks, he took a different drug every day and made a portrait of himself under the influence. Mind you, we don’t support using drugs here at theCHIVE (except alcohol, of course, let’s not be crazy) but this is just too interesting of a story to pass up.
Via Bryanlewissaunders
Why Meditate?
Posted by friedmanfamilytherapy in Stress on August 26, 2012
Three reason to meditate.
First reason: Meditation enhances emotional regulation.
Tang, Y.-Y., Ma, Y., Wang, J., Fan, Y., Feng, S., Lu, Q., Yu, Q., et al. (2007). Short-term meditation training improves attention and self-regulation. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 104(43), 17152–6. doi:10.1073/pnas.0707678104
Second reason: Meditation makes you more resilient to environmental stress.
Davidson, R. J. (2003). Alterations in Brain and Immune Function Produced by Mindfulness Meditation. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65(4), 564–570. doi:10.1097/01.PSY.0000077505.67574.E3
Third reason: Meditation has been linked to enhanced cognitive performance particularly on tests that measure cognitive flexibility.
Moore, A., & Malinowski, P. (2009). Meditation, mindfulness and cognitive flexibility. Consciousness and cognition, 18(1), 176–186.
My personal suggestions:
I recommend starting small aim to sit in meditation for 10 minutes a day gradually increasing the length of your sessions to 30mins a day. Personally I have found that practicing meditation when you feel well greatly enhances your ability to remain calm during a stressful event. This I liken to weight training. When you begin weight training initially you get very sore but as you build strength your body adapts and can tolerate much heavier loads. Meditation practice builds pumps up your emotional resilience and enables you to bounce back from heavier loads of emotional stress if practiced daily!
One of the tools that I have used to meditate and keep track of my progress is the self app on the iphone. It’s a beautiful free app that has a timer where you can track your meditation time and keep a journal on your thoughts that arise. The app has the feature that you can export the data as a csv and upload it to excel or any other spreadsheet program of your choice. You find more info about the app at http://self.gr3p.com.
Here is a pic of me in mediation circa 2003 taken at the Kashi Ashram in Sebastian Florida.
PowToon : Couples Dance
Posted by friedmanfamilytherapy in Dating and Relationships on August 24, 2012
Made Made Book Review
Posted by friedmanfamilytherapy in Uncategorized on July 23, 2012
Man Made- is a great book by the Journalist Joel Stein. The book chronicles his quest to learn about masculinity by interviewing and interacting with men in traditionally manly jobs. The jobs and journeys include- Fireman, the Army, UFC Fighters, Hunting, and baseball. The quest was inspired the birth of Joel’s son Laszlo. Joel felt that he needed to learn more about being masculine so he could he help raise his son right.
Joel said, “My dad gave me the very manliest gift: feeling safe. Because once you feel safe, you can take risks. I want to make Laszlo feel that way. And now I think I might be capable of doing that. Just like my dad did.” –Joel Stein
One of the connections I made with the above quote is my friend Paul growing up. Paul did not have a lot of confidence in high school. However once Paul got a girlfriend his confidence soared. The girlfriend like Joel’s dad made him feel safe and secure in the world. Now when I would go to parties with Paul even when is girlfriend was not around Paul was always very loyal to his girlfriend but no that he had a girlfriend he felt that he could get any girl and that party. I noticed this newfound confidence that I attributed to Paul having a secure safe attachment with his girlfriend.
One of the other highlights from the book was Joel’s interaction with ex football star Warren Sapp. Warren said that when he was younger he was quite the philanderer.
Warren Sapp stated,” At nearly forty a man should not be attracted to twenty year olds, he can’t relate to. You want someone that loves you. That’s what you learn in the long haul. He says that grass on the other side is artificial turf. Do not lay down on it because it’s going to hurt like hell.”
I highly recommend the book is a quick fun and entertaining read. Here is a picture of the Author Joel Stein with his son Laszlo below.
Talk Tala
Posted by friedmanfamilytherapy in Dating and Relationships on July 11, 2012
Talk Tala is a new wellbeing startup for hosting what they call Online Therapeutic Conversation. Its a platform where users can share their experience with others and there is credentialed therapist the is moderating the talk.
I am hosting several talk this thursday.The talk that i am very excited about is called Dating 2.0. I choose this title because technology has really transformed the modern dating experience. Currently Talk Tala is in a Beta mode meaning the system is being tested to work out the kinks. I invite you to sign up for one of the many groups that is offered on Talk Tala.
heres the link for my group http://www.talktala.com/public/details/249-navigating-dating-20
Oneitis- How to prevent a dating disease?
Posted by friedmanfamilytherapy in Dating and Relationships on July 3, 2012
Quick Definition: A disease (hence the ‘itis) where a man is stuck on one girl, and feels that she is the one, usually to the detriment of developing a relationship with that girl. –Vince Lin
An unhealthy romantic obsession with a single person. Usually accompanied by un-reciprocated affection and completely unrealistic idealization of the same person- John, snap out of your oneitis man. She’s not into you. -Urban dictionary
I first learned about the term oneitis from the PUA (pick up artist) community. First became aware of the PUA community from reading the Game by Neil Strauss. The PUA community is a self-help oriented movement that helps guys pick up women. It often portrayed that it is designed to objectify and take advantage of women, while there is a definite element of that in the community. It has helped many shy social awkward guys find the tools to develop relationships with women. There are various schools and approaches taught within the community. These school are based on some of the guru’s in the field there is the: Mystery Method taught by Mystery, Speed Seduction by Ross Jeffries, CockyFunny by David D’angelo, and Real Social Dynamics taught by Tyler Durden. Despite the different schools of thought they all fall under the umbrella of PUA. The hub on the web for the group is www.fastseduction.com.
They have invented their own terms and phrases that are used by members of the community. One of the terms used is Oneiiis. Oneitis is when a single man is dating and he suddenly becomes fixated on one woman. This is problematic because the man just met the woman. He does not have any explicit commitment to her and she does not have any commitment to him. It is also likely that there has been minimal if any sexual contact between the man and the woman he just met. So what an end up happening is the women perceives the guy as very needy and clingy and is thus turned off by him. The man who is suffering from oneitis may continue to pursue her and she tells her friends that this guy is a stalker. So how does one avoid oneitis? Well I advocate dating multiple women at once. I liken this to applying for a job its usually a good idea to apply to several jobs at the same time. One of the reason for this is that it gives to options and we you have options it is easier to demonstrate your value. Also if one job or one woman rejects you it’s not a big deal. So am I advocating multiple relationships? No but I am not against them if that is your thing. The point of this piece on oneitis is that oneitis is a disease before you have a commitment established. That commitment should be established through an explicit discussion of the terms of your relationship. Often people think they are in a relationship when they are in fact suffering from oneitis. Once you have a commitment it is no longer oneitis it’s a relationship!
Posted by friedmanfamilytherapy in Uncategorized on June 4, 2012
Great analogy from a yoga teacher comparing relationships to handstands. I have been working on holding a full handstand and the authors words connect with me.
Let me preface this post by saying: Handstands are hard as sh*t.
And from there let me dive right in – how much explanation could this post possibly require?
1) You try and try and try to get into handstand. You work on it from all angles: you try to get a friend’s advice, you have a friend set you up into handstand, you read books and articles about handstand, you try to figure it out online, you put your blood sweat and tears into simply flirting with a handstand. Right when you think you’re really putting all your effort into getting that handstand you fall on your f-ing face. It isn’t until you’ve done all that B.S. that you finally find yourself in a handstand.
2) Your first handstand tends to be a short-lived experience. Sometimes you get into it and surprise yourself so much that you immediately…
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